I have been watching a series this week called 'cold turkey' which is shown live and is filming 3 people as they go cold turkey- not very nice viewing and is something i have done on a number of occasions. I have decided to come clean to my doc on sat in order to increase my methadone script with a view to finally kicking the whole damn thing by the summer. Will I do it? who can tell, i have demons in my soul that wont leave me alone.
There was a programme on last night a serious science doc which was looking at global dimming/warming which made the connection between contrails and dimming and how the after effect of 9/11 when no planes took off in the USA was to increase the mean temp by a degree they actually showed chemtrails but didnt call them that just contrails that had been layed over each other - so we are nearly getting there, i just find it very hard to believe that these scientists haven't figured it out yet.

lovers day

mmmmmmm card to buy flowers to buy - what a rip off especially when your married

chemtrails

had a thought today after reading a post on a chemtrail forum - with the number of planes needed to spay the huge areas thatr are being covered there would need to be a massive number of planes, whoes paying for it where are these 'planes' coming from they are not marked and a number of people are now saying that they do not look like any known plane, they travel at very high speed and a number of other anomolies, could it be that they are actually something else that is 'cloaked ' to look like a plane? UFO'S for want of a better word, spraying us into submission or weakening us so when the pandemic of bird flu or what ever else hits huge numbers are going to fall dead.......... it really is begininning to scare me now, and why do people seem to ignore what they see in the sky, Why do TV companies or newspapers never run stories about the amazing white lines that turn into clouds (sic) media owned by who knows , and the general public somehow brainwashed in to not seeing what is right there in there faces , its all very strange.

birthday

So another year has passed and nothing has been achieved, except more debt and making those around me more miserable (my wife anyway) i have to stop taking gear or I will .lose everything that is a dead certainty, I even entertained the thought of maxing out the cards waiting till i get paid and then flying out to pakistan and renting a cheap room and just smoke h till i have nothing left could probably do it for at least a year maybe longer- but its my beautiful daughters that stop me i would miss them too much, and yet I cant stop doing what i'm doing which will in the end result in me losing it all- madness.