birthday

So another year has passed and nothing has been achieved, except more debt and making those around me more miserable (my wife anyway) i have to stop taking gear or I will .lose everything that is a dead certainty, I even entertained the thought of maxing out the cards waiting till i get paid and then flying out to pakistan and renting a cheap room and just smoke h till i have nothing left could probably do it for at least a year maybe longer- but its my beautiful daughters that stop me i would miss them too much, and yet I cant stop doing what i'm doing which will in the end result in me losing it all- madness.