hope

I just hope i can kick- i got 3 bags on tick yesterday with no cash to repay so hope my dealer dont come a lookin

the sex bit

So far I have written about drugs and alien type stuff so now a little bit about sex.
A fantasy... sitting on the bus after work I notice a sixth former on the top deck on her own . She was sitting at the back with her feet up on the chair and I went over and did the same. I looked over and saw her skirt had ridden up her leg just revealing a tiny piece of underware, She had black boots and black long socks up to her thighs and she turned to .look at me with a grin and said " what are you looking at" I replied "nothing". and looked away slighly embaressed.
I noticed she had moved slightly out the corner of my eye which made me turn and look over again. She had moved so that she was alot closer and turned at the same time so tha she was almost facing me. This time i could see directly up her skirt to her white knickers that were riding very tightly to her cunt. She looked directly at me and said "does that turn you on?" I mumbled something and she scooted up right next to me picking up my hand and resting it on her knee, not needing anymore encouragement i felt further uo her leg untill i started stroking her cunt thro her knickers , she was getting very wet and started to moan slightly I pulled back the elastic on the side and pushed 3 fingers right in her , they slipped in easily as the moisture poured out of her. She started to rub me through my trousures and soon i was rock hard" can i kiss it " she askedI guided her head to my lap and soon she was sucking it like a lollypop. i continued to finger her using my thumb on her clit an soon she was coming which set me off i explolded in her mouth she looked up with spunk dribbling down both sides of her mouth and smiled - "please can you kiss me - down there" I obliged of course and was soon licking furiously the length of her pussy from her arsehole to her clit , she was bracing her self against my face rubbibng as hard as she could coming after a few minutes , all the while i had been wanking my self hard again she sat up and sat on my lap facing away at first she was bouncing on my cock but near the end it came out and as she was so wet it sliped in to her arse she lookes startled and asked me to stop but i just grabbed her and fucked her hard taking it out to come all over her beautiful pussey . the bus stopped and i got off she stayed on and as it drove off i could see her wipeing her self with her fingers and licking them clean

I have been watching a series this week called 'cold turkey' which is shown live and is filming 3 people as they go cold turkey- not very nice viewing and is something i have done on a number of occasions. I have decided to come clean to my doc on sat in order to increase my methadone script with a view to finally kicking the whole damn thing by the summer. Will I do it? who can tell, i have demons in my soul that wont leave me alone.
There was a programme on last night a serious science doc which was looking at global dimming/warming which made the connection between contrails and dimming and how the after effect of 9/11 when no planes took off in the USA was to increase the mean temp by a degree they actually showed chemtrails but didnt call them that just contrails that had been layed over each other - so we are nearly getting there, i just find it very hard to believe that these scientists haven't figured it out yet.

lovers day

mmmmmmm card to buy flowers to buy - what a rip off especially when your married

chemtrails

had a thought today after reading a post on a chemtrail forum - with the number of planes needed to spay the huge areas thatr are being covered there would need to be a massive number of planes, whoes paying for it where are these 'planes' coming from they are not marked and a number of people are now saying that they do not look like any known plane, they travel at very high speed and a number of other anomolies, could it be that they are actually something else that is 'cloaked ' to look like a plane? UFO'S for want of a better word, spraying us into submission or weakening us so when the pandemic of bird flu or what ever else hits huge numbers are going to fall dead.......... it really is begininning to scare me now, and why do people seem to ignore what they see in the sky, Why do TV companies or newspapers never run stories about the amazing white lines that turn into clouds (sic) media owned by who knows , and the general public somehow brainwashed in to not seeing what is right there in there faces , its all very strange.

birthday

So another year has passed and nothing has been achieved, except more debt and making those around me more miserable (my wife anyway) i have to stop taking gear or I will .lose everything that is a dead certainty, I even entertained the thought of maxing out the cards waiting till i get paid and then flying out to pakistan and renting a cheap room and just smoke h till i have nothing left could probably do it for at least a year maybe longer- but its my beautiful daughters that stop me i would miss them too much, and yet I cant stop doing what i'm doing which will in the end result in me losing it all- madness.

so how how am I going to make the 20k I need to get out of debt? a blag, smuggling, invent a thingy,..... there must be something , I am a clever bloke if only I could apply myself to this problem.

fool

Of course any normal man would think that if he put 1000's of pounds on to credit cards and took out loans for more at some point he would be unable to pay it back- now I ve spent it all on H mostly, and the cloud of forgivness is being blown away and guilt and terror replaces it. Two wonderful kids and lovely wife what Am I going to do? short of my parents dying and me inheriting a bundle (not very likely) I just dont know- maybe i could start a web site called .... a penny for your mate and every one who logged on could send a penny I would only need about 2million hits- if i had the motivation i would do it, get on the news chat shows.. but lets face it not a hope in hell i will explore it any further than this flight of fancy.

For those that look up to the sky pehaps you have noticed the great long white lines that look like 'contrails' - like exhast gas from a plane- but instead of dissapating after a minute or so they just hang there getting wider and in some cases actually making a cloud, really its true just keep looking and you will see this phenomena. Question is why? google chemtrails and you will find thousands of sites purpoting to know everything from mass poisening, weakening the imune system, reflecting back sunlight.... the government deny all knowledge so it does have the whiff of conspiracy about it - one current thought is that the bird flu outbreak is going to kill millions as the trails have been destroying the imune system or that part of it that could fight the infection. All very thrilling , it will come out at some point why the spraying is happening but will it be to late by then?

first thought

Are we what we believe us to be or are we what others belive us to be? I will try and and place on this blog my thoughts on the world as it is percieved in my brain which is to say at the time of writing which chemicals are swirling about the synapses.

My main interests lie in the esoteric, the unusual, fringe science, conspiracy and anything leftfield i suppose. I will post as often as I can today being the first will be short as i need to work on the presentation of the 'homepage'.